Friday, 30 August 2013

The Procession of the Avant-Gardes, In Terms of Shit

Romanticism: I feel shit.
Pre-Raphaelites: Shit was better in the 15th century.
Impressionism: Loose shit.
Aestheticism: Pretty shit.
Art Nouveau: The prettiest shit.
Post-impressionism: Very loose shit.
Cubism: Shit from every angle.
Abstraction: Less shit.
Suprematism: Perfectly shit.
Constructivism: Building on shit.
Futurism: Thoroughly modern shit.
Expressionism: SHIT! SHIT! SHIIIIIIIT!
Rayonism: Lines of shit.
Vorticism: Whirls of shit.
Dada: Shit on the Mona Lisa.
Surrealism: Weird shit.
Art Deco: Pretty shit again.
Concrete art: Solid shit.
Abstract expressionism: Flinging shit around.
Kinetic art: Moving shit.
Outsider art: Crazy shit.
Op art: This shit hurts my eyes.
Minimalist art: Shit all shit.
Conceptual Art: Shit ideas.
Pop art: Mass produced shit.
Photorealism: Looks just like shit.
Post-modern art: You don't understand this shit.
Performance art: Doing shit.
Process art: Doing shit every day.
Installation art: Putting shit in its place.
Feminist art: Women's shit.
Land art: Outdoors shit.
Body art: Rolling around in shit.
Relational art: What do you think of this shit?
Appropriational art: I'm stealing your shit.
Sound art: Hear this shit?
Young British Artists: Shit sells.
Metamodernism: No one understands this shit.
Virtual art: Virtually shit.
Stuckism: Fuck this shit.
Remodernism: No, really, fuck this shit.
Superflat: Smooth shit.
Transgressive art: Cunt.

Thought this up in a few hours of idle boredom. Might make a good poster (may have to tweak the last one for commercial reasons? A pity though, as it is the punchline)

No comments:

Post a Comment